The Airport Acres Neighborhood

Neighborhood children especially are encouraged to tell their favorite jokes here. We'll include their names if they want us to do so. A laugh, a grin, a cheery greeting can brighten the day for almost any neighbor. These are one of the soft, special pleasures of living in Airport Acres.

Neighbor to the farmer: what time do you go to work?
Son, I don't go to work. I get up at 4 am and I'm surrounded by it.

Wardens
Early in the season the game warden stepped up to 2 fishermen and asked for their licenses. One fellow ran off for 20 minutes. Then he stopped and presented his license.
If you have a license, why did you run?
Well, you see, the other fellow doesn't have one.

From a Friend:

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark...

• One: Don't miss the boat.
• Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
• Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
• Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
• Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
• Six: Buildyour future on high ground.
• Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
• Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
• Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
• Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
• Eleven: No matter the storm, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Good Advice From Kids

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
-Patrick, age 10

A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac.
- Andrew, age 9

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
-Amir, age 9

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
-Joel, age 10

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, age 11

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
-Naomi, age 15

Never try to baptize a cat.
-Eileen, age 8

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, "Take the Big pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the little pink pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."