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The Didactron
A Tale of Educators' Lives in a High-Tech Teaching-Learning Space ©

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6. The Mutualists Projects

"Many people can nail boards together; some are privy carpenters; few are cabinetmakers. With study, education, apprenticeship, and the care of an expert teacher, it is possible for many people to progress along the carpentry continuum to the superior cabinetmaker. Analogies collapse, of that I am well aware, but I contend that this one is very good. There is a legitimate comparison between perfecting techniques with wood and with perfecting techniques in that part of the total sexual experience called physical intercourse. When it comes to a comparison of those who work with wood and those who engage in coitus, the world is largely populated with those who can nail boards. There are few cabinetmakers.

"Perhaps the analogy offends or bothers you. That is far from my intention. I suggest there is a graduation, a continuously increasing level of performance that can be achieved. There are significant, substantial differences in these levels. I am not talking about some subtle, perhaps trivial difference like taste in wines that comes from comparison and education. I'm talking about bold difference, clearly evident, and of a kind that can influence how a life is lived, the harmony and creativity of the family, and the mental health and happiness of the children of such families."

Dave Sabinoff had presented such ideas in lectures in a few classes. He had taped many lectures and was preparing others as an optimistic tactic in his broader strategy to create an educational program in The Didactron. As he saw it, The Didactron would be one of the few places where his objectives could be achieved … at least tested in any realistic manner. His hypothesis, like that of other teachers with different topics, was: after teaching, there was no significant change in the quality of physical intercourse made by those taught. He fully expected to reject that null hypothesis.

He had made the arguments for education in coitus in every way he could conceive. His opportunity to do so came not as a result of a particular approach or some deft logic, but as a result of an administrative change. A new group leader appeared on the scene. An informal chat led to an hour-long meeting. The next day, he received a letter indicating that there was space and time available as well as modest 'seed funds' and encouragement to seek other funds for improving the quality of such instruction. There was also a hint at the experimental nature of the program … but this had been discussed previously as a safety valve or escape mechanism and was not to be considered substantive.

Dave reflected that he had seen this pattern over and over in the university. There is nothing gradual. You struggle in vain for years with an idea and discover that someone who has not heard or read of your idea steps in, innocently, and takes the prize with a similar but lesser idea. The monumental efforts to secure a grant to do research are counted as nothing, ignored in the face of a three-paragraph letter from a corporation or agency asking for a solution and guaranteeing large financial support. Marketing ideas is hardly like doing conventional marketing in which there is a known product (like a house), some buyers, and a salesperson who comes home glad or sad, depending on a sale. The situation is very different in universities. There are unsure and often unknown products, unknown and diverse buyers, an award of funds, and a 'sale' which is good only two or three years later …if the research turns out well.

With the approval and backing of his group leader, Dave achieved footing for his leap. He re-did his lectures, added notes, and revised their organization. He restructured the program, for it could not be merely lectures and media directed at a group. He needed a comprehensive system and that is what emerged as the concept that he called The Mutualists. Its purpose was personal behavioral changes toward improving physical intercourse. It included an analysis of the context of intercourse -- historical and social, and included the processes of achieving the human potential in this one domain of life. He knew the bredth of topics potentially involved but had to narrow his work and presentations to young heterosexual adults. A program was conceived called 'preventative pathologies' and dialogue with medical staff within the community was given new purpose. Fran had been asked to help with the psychological and pharmacological dimensions of his comprehensive presentation. Two church leaders had been asked to participate, largely addressing concepts of love and family responsibilities. One had failed to get approval from his leadership. Hans Cliner had stayed grumpy for several weeks when he found out that he had not been asked to present his ideas on the importance of the natural social nature of people and harmonious sexual relations at the core of a modern society.

"This is a unidirectional program," Dave had been heard to say several times. "We must pull people up from near-pathological conditions, enliven them if they are at the quiescent plateau, and encourage continual advances to their potentials. We can do this! We can change behaviors in this major dimension of human life, one that influences so many other dimensions of family and life in society."

* * *

"Lori, is it true what I've heard about your husband? Is he really teaching intercourse at the Didactron?"

Lori had always been a bit embarrassed by her husband's aspirations and expertise. She had never allowed herself to say "he's a fucking expert" but several times she had wished she had dared. There are some faculty-wives' groups in which such statements are the only things that make sense, or would be noticed. She retreated, usually saying only that he was a "psychologist" and sometimes mentioned "sexuality" although she knew Dave hated the word.

"Yes he does. Why?"

"I'm so embarrassed to ask. I'm just terribly curious. It sounds so risque … well, I don't know why I ask. I just had to know. The kids get sex education at school. I guess what he does is advanced sex education? He just clears up and expands on what they are getting, right?"

"No, but I think you ought to ask him."

"Well I couldn't. I'd die. I can hardly talk to you about it. I've been trying to get up the courage to ask you for a week since I heard what was going on."

"What have you heard, Meghan?"

"I can't really tell, but the impression is the whole thing should be x-rated the way Burt heard it in the cafeteria. It's explicit sex as I hear it."

"The pleasure of living with this guy," thought Lori, "just may be overrated."

"Megan, you've met Dave several times. You and I, we, have not known each other long, but you surely don't think he's involved in anything smutty."

"No Lori, not me! Not at all! But I can't help but be curious."

"Dave is completely dedicated to his interest. It's a cause, almost a religion. He is driven, and, like some early great men, he is struggling against some massive public sentiment and, frankly, ignorance. He's like the early medical men who sought out cadavers to learn about anatomy and the human body. Their work was strictly taboo. Some were killed for their efforts. Dave is in a similar situation and, frankly, I'm a little afraid for him. That's one reason why I asked what you had heard.

"There is such widespread ignorance about intercourse. Opinions and attitudes about it are very strong. It is not sex or sexuality or any of those silly and misleading words. Coitus among married people is a topic that controls our bodies, interrupts our thoughts, changes our behavior, destroys or builds our marriages and relationships, and effects our children and their future -- and we do almost nothing about learning about it and trying to improve its role in our lives. Intercourse remains as unspeakable as it was in Victorian times; it is twittered over; sullied. It is hidden by brutes and their victims, despoiled by television. It is as if we possessed gold and treated it as sand."

Lori had heard Dave lecture and discuss…and discuss…and discuss his theories for the nine years of their marriage. She had learned the words and had caught the spirit. As if in unison with her, Dave, at that moment was re-taping a lecture.

He spoke to the microphone below a picture of an average audience."Things that cannot be seen are mysterious. Things that just happen or seem to happen repeatedly from unknown processes are mysterious. Physical intercourse among animals and humans was only dimly and vaguely related to procreation and readily became a part of the religious concepts and practices. It also became a part of the taboos of primitive societies for its results were life-threatening to women. It was disease-related in some areas. It was also the cause of conflicts when the 'space' of highly monogamous creatures was invaded by either male or female. Social rules were needed to reduce these major social and personal problems. Problems of physical intercourse originally were not those of personal or interpersonal relationships but those it created in groups -- the small bands of cave dwellers and nomads for example.

"The mysterious and religious dimensions of physical intercourse ground its social dimension. Imagine a primitive person without any knowledge of biology living in a time when life expectancy of women was 15 to 20 years. Imagine a woman experiencing menses. All of her young life she will have related blood to injury or death. Only in the setting of a wise mother or a culture that developed meaningful ceremonies to aid a person at that time of life could any sense be made of the regularly-occurring human phenomenon.

"No sense seems to have been made of that condition. Even today, girls are terrified of their first menses, boys by their first emission of semen. Improvements have been made, certainly, but the religious influences are stone age, the knowledge pre-high school, the practices still barbaric.

"I am not here to teach you biology or about proper husband-wife relations or about family planning, or to help you understand your maleness or femaleness. I seek only one goal. My horizons are limited, but this goal is essential. It involves a major part of married life. It is a major part of a continually expanding rich, high-quality life. It is so dominant that I believe that achieving a reasonable level of perfection in it is a condition for living a satisfying life. It seems necessary to attaining a state that most people call in themselves or observe in others 'beginning to attain the human potential.'

"Now get this."

He often changed the compressed-speech part of the message which he ran at the speed at which the message was gotten in about 80 percent of the normal speaking time. For a brief outline he changed it to normal speed.

"Now get this.

"We are involved with denying religious beliefs that are grounded in information. However, that information was obtained at a time when little was known and there was no way to find out. Practices were then told in the evening tales and eventually written in sacred books … the ones that seemed reasonable, seemed correlated with desired conditions, and seemed to have survival value, given the information available.

"We now know a great deal about the human body, disease, and intercourse.

"I now seek to improve intercourse, this one aspect of your life now or in the future.

"I want to set in motion a continuing search of creative life-long involvement and discovery.

"We know religious, social, and other factors are controlling you. Daily and monthly physiological changes, as well as those of aging affect your thoughts and moods. Some factors may have such overpowering control that you can make no changes in your intercourse. I suspect you can however, based on evidence from hundreds of others who have done so.

"I seek change, not only for your personal enhancement but for the good it will do everyone you contact, virtually your entire society.

"I am not anti-religious. I am not teaching biology. I am not teaching maleness or femaleness.

"I am apolitical. I have no set of prescriptions. I am not advocating permissiveness.

"Get all of that!

"I am here to cause in you a profound change for your personal good and for those around you. I know the obstacles and resistance; I know we can overcome them."

* * *

He was late coming home again. "Dave, what's going on?" Lori met him at the door that evening and, at the kitchen table over the usual evening cup of coffee, she had not hesitated to ask. "Meghan was over today and was more nosey than usual. She had heard something from Burt, who had heard things from your buddies in the cafeteria. What is 'explicit sex' and what are you doing down there 'at work'?" she asked. The twinkle in her eye showed that she knew the answers.

Most often serious, Dave proceeded with the answers, holding the cup for its warmth.

"It will be as I feared. Trying to fit a group of enlightened students into a dulled environment may be impossible. They want to share their new knowledge, their enlightenment, and it is always interpreted improperly. The message is pure; the "translators" are flawed. I've never seen such enthusiasm and awakening and genuine concern and openness among my students. They seem to understand the seriousness of what we are trying to do. Not once has there been any twittering or raucous vulgarity. They have settled right in.

"Last week, the third week of presentations, I had provided them diagrams of the male reproductive system and the differences resulting from circumcision. I then used a video disc of the anatomy and explained the function and characteristics of each part. I then used a plastic scale model to clarify the structures and relationships and used a series of slides to reiterate the names and to describe the key physiological properties. I then used my success-quizzes and provided them with the illustration and had them relate words to numbered parts of the illustration. The response buttons on their desks allowed each of them to be graded. I just repeated the process until by ther end of the class period, everyone in class got a perfect score.

"This is the first time I've ever been able to complete the entire sequence. I'm not trying to replace the biology classes but they just do not learn what is needed there. There were people in class, male seniors, who could not name the glans penis. Even in modern biology classes the human reproductive system is inadequately taught. The students said they didn't get to it in class, it being at the back of the book. You can bet they turned to that first when they got their textbook. Such curiosity is the origin of learning. We have suppressed it,destroyed much of their passion for learning, and added to suspicion of teachers."

"Dave, you're not answering my question."

"Oh, yes I am! I showed a unit on a cadaver's penis being incised and his balls cut off! How much more explicit can I get!?"

"Wait. Don't fuss with me. You know what I mean. You know I'm with you. We've both known you were in for some rough times. The first little beam of the evil search light showed up at our backdoor this morning. Now what about this 'explicit sex' rumor?"

Not smiling, but nodding agreement, Dave said "I then required them all to draw very carefully one finger on their hand. I wanted it in pencil on the artist paper that I gave them and a refined drawing, not a sketch. Drawing is a great tool to teach or inspire careful observation - to see what is really there. I then handed each of them a laminated color picture of the male genital region and required them to draw a penis."

"That's pretty intimate stuff."

"That's why I do it. I want complete and total intimacy. There must be complete familiarity if the mysticism, rumor, superstition, and false information is to be removed. At least it's needed for improved health."

"I think a little mystery is good" Lori said in a husky voice, smiling and putting her hand on his.

"Damned right," he said, "but a change from 95 percent to 5 percent ignorance would serve us all well. You cannot believe the gap in those people! There were women in the class who had never seen a penis. Several said on the preliminary questionnaire that it had a bony structure."

"That's always been my experience."

He laughed out loud at her. Ignoring her teasing, he went on lecturing to his coffee cup. "Well I showed over 30 pictures of the male genital region. I have two series of 30 pictures of people in the quiescent to erect stages. This is pretty 'explicit' stuff but that is the intent. It is the secret, hidden, and mysterious that have people so emotionally involved in this topic.

"If I put something …anything …under a rock in the presence of an animal, it will dig and worry it out eventually. You cover a vital part of the body and add all sorts of social wrappings and prohibitions from the cradle on and the results are psychological chaos. We cannot talk about it openly; we do not even have the words to do so well, even between husband and wife and maturing children. It is a genuine wonder we still procreate; it is a wonder that any of us can find satisfaction in intercourse."

"I believe I may not score as well as I once did on my male genital anatomy quiz. Perhaps you can help me, Professor," she said as she locked the doors, turned out the lights, and pulled him toward the stairs.

* * *

"Perfect physical intercourse for the married partners is the perfect culmination of a complex, total system." Dave continued taping the next day. "It is so complex and has so many parts that it is rare when it all materializes in a perfect event. When the probability of being right in 10 things (any things) all at once is only 95 percent in each thing, the chance of the whole thing being perfect is only 60 percent. The real odds are not that great by far. They are perhaps only 50-50 at each step, making the chances of perfection only about 1 in 1000. Because the sequence is also critical, the chance of having truly great physical intercourse is very very low.

"Realizing that the difficulty is important is the job ahead. We are working not to increase your anxiety, but to reduce it. Slight improvements are to be noted and appreciated. You are not to fret over your distance from perfection of each event."

He had brought the group over some amazing changes in a short time. Since blood pressure, pulse rate, and body movement index could be readily monitored at each student's console in The Didactron classroom, it was clear that progress had been made in all three indices. By the fifteenth picture of the male genitals, the indices had declined substantially. All genitals are different, unique. As the differences are observed and a large population of them is seen, the differences are trivialized by their similarities.

After seeing the illustrations of the male parts, another 20 of female breasts and 20 of the vulval region, most of the class was bored and totally unstimulated. There was no more eroticism present in such sights than in observing people in a line for tickets. The effort, so difficult to explain, had not been to suppress eroticism but to reduce that which is rooted in the unknown. The purpose was also to destroy the social labels of "bad" or "the inappropriate," and the vulgarisms of ignorance. The effort was to open up opportunities, just a few, for creative, positive, and meaningful benefits for loving partners in intercourse.

"Defining perfect physical intercourse is almost impossible but it is necessary for us to have as clear as possible a goal for being in The Didactron and engaging in this arduous educational experience together. 'Behavioral change' is easy to say, but your question should be 'to what ends?' The goal is that each one of you should experience equal or greater orgasm than in the previous event, mutually, within 60 seconds. This concept recognizes that plateaus of perfection may be reached and held, virtually for years. It also puts no emphasis on first orgasm or any orgasm, only on mutualism. While nearly simultaneous orgasm is desirable, there is special joy in experiencing the orgasm of the partner before or after your own.

"You need to comprehend that we work together on loving experiences, on preparation, and thought, and "foreplay," but all of these can be and are an important part of the total experience that we seek to understand, comprehend, and act upon, resulting in more than satisfying orgasm. We use orgasm as the index function.

"I would like for you to adopt the notion of becoming mutualists. Under this name we can easily express the concept of people seeking to comprehend and achieve this goal."

Dave entered into his computer terminal for display:

Mutualist

Seeking to experience equal or greater orgasm in physical intercourse than in the previous event, mutually, within the same minute.

Each student had access to his Internet site for further study and for aiding memory. Some would access it with other related notes directly from this site, opened with their password. He had hated to add time (60 seconds) to the definition for he knew there would be over emphasis on it and some people would start a countdown after the orgasm of one partner, thus destroying the intended mutuality of the event. He had to do it to assure the meaning of "in unison" or "soon" or "quickly thereafter." It was needed for accountability … what was the real, measurable, behavioral consequence of such education? Like artisans in painting or cabinet making, it was expected that the mutualist would soon ignore the definition because the meaning would be well integrated into being just fully human.

"There is a part of a scale, a gradation, a continuum from personal ejaculation, emissions or the experience to mutual orgasm. Each point along this scale (which we call the Gamma scale) may be pleasurable and we have no intent to suggest any part of it is bad or undesirable. I am simply stating that the farther along one is on the scale, the better off we will all be. It is a condition of having a scale of realistic goodness with no badness. Gamma is the meaningful portion of the comprehensive scale Xi, one extending upward from the high negative range where populations of people engage in intercourse that is physically or mentally harmful to one or both participants. An intermediate position on the scale is occupied by events harmful or very unpleasant to one partner (for example, a male required to perform more frequently than desired or beyond his recovery rate or a woman required to submit to unwanted or painful intercourse). Then there are others in a solitary zone in which objects or substances potentially harmful are used to elicit orgasm in male or female. The scale becomes positive in the solitary zone with simple self stimulation resulting in orgasm and increases into the zone through shared stimulation without intercourse, then through intercourse with only one partner experiencing an orgasm. With such an event, the other person having a neutral or positive attitude to it, then the scale progressively becomes more positive to the defined perfect event in which both are lost simultaneously in the achievement of orgasm by the other person."

Dave had given all students two copies of the scale and asked that they date them, mark their perceived average status, file one for later comparisons and measured improvement. He would ask for electronic responses to compare the reported median of the group later to see if there were signs of changes resulting from his teaching and program. He also sought to detect trends in groups oven time, hoping that the program within The Didactron would have much wider influence than among the students taught there. Part of the behavior to be taught was in changing societal attitudes toward physical intercourse, not just getting personal change within a few students.

Meghan and Burt Kark had been neighbors for three years. Meghan had worked part time and, like the Sabinoffs, they were very busy about the affairs of life -- mostly creating a work space, finding sound friends, finding a place in the community, and staying ahead of financial and other demands. They, like most middle-class, middle-aged people were in the middle of the road about their lives together and they sensed that that was as dangerous in life as being in traffic. They were safe for now, but neither the accelerator nor steering of their life-auto was responding, and visibility was low. There was something wrong in their lives; they sensed it, could not (or would not) verbalize it. Compared to their perception of others, they were terribly happy and a success by most criteria.

They had been very, very busy and the relations with their neighbors were awful. Not bad, just awful. Both families liked each other. They just didn't have time. Being good friends takes work and both couples were overworked. Relations are so important that eventually someone finally acknowledges that no matter what the cost in planning, cooking, cleaning, and losing time, some event is needed to keep up the relationship. Otherwise there is no more, by definition.

Burt saw Dave in the cafeteria and they occasionally ate together. Meghan visited Lori several times a week now that she worked fewer hours.

The evening meal was beautiful to see; the taste was only a little beyond that of a frozen-food platter. The crystal, family silver, and wine converted the experience. Coffee, stirred in candlelight, always tastes better. The conversation had flowed as it does with people comfortable together. Neither partner was being hustled for promotion or tenure. There was no competition on display or posturing because they were from different departments. There was no higher-than-thou games about the house or possessions. The conversation was chiefly 4-W: weather, work, wars and the wonders -- of a neighbor, a garden, a local government decision. Even the wine was excluded. There was a shared sense that it should be drunk, not discussed.

Meghan looked at Dave's eyes frequently during the meal. She was reading. Nothing in the conversation indicated that there was another agenda, but it was present, and Lori sensed it. It showed in the longer-than-necessary studies of the soup in each spoonful, the adjustment of the sweater which she kept over her shoulders in a pleasantly warm room, and how she was wiping her hands on the napkin in her lap.

"Dave, can you teach Burt and me how to have perfect physical intercourse?" Burt came off the back of the sofa, feinting strangling. He often played straight-man for Meghan in social situations. It allowed her to shine; he didn't have to participate much; she obviously enjoyed it; he was good at it. This time, the blustering was real, but it took the well-rehearsed forms.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" he demanded more for his own needs to collect his wits than to slow down Meghan. He felt like he had hit his head on the kitchen cabinet door. The lukewarm coffee in the half-full cup sloshed into the saucer, then onto his pants. He merely brushed at it.

Burt was pleased that the lights were low. Real professionals don't blush. Similar questions had not caused him to, but this situation was different. He looked for her seriousness, then reached over to stir his well-stirred coffee.

"Lori has told me some about what you are doing and why. The good you can do is so great and I am so proud to know you for what you are attempting. Lifting society is a pretty big job. That's too big for me to imagine; its unreal; unthinkable for me. All I want is to participate, to get my share of this good that you're doing. At least I want to understand. Maybe I'm just too curious but if you can do what Lori has said, then I want to be involved.

"My, listen to me" she said touching both hands to her cheeks seemingly showing embarrassment.

"What's so bad about the way things are?" Burt's usual responses were questions and jokes. He asked Meghan, but turned to Dave and Lori for the answers.

"Nothing, Burt. Nothing at all. That's why I didn't talk to you about this. I just knew you'd understand." Meghan had rehearsed this, for she knew the question would be comming. "You know Dave works with students in a new program to improve intercourse. It sounds off-color, kinky, and all of that, but I admire what he's doing. All of this stuff you've heard at school is just that …stuff.

"I think we're wonderful together - you and me, you know, but from what Lori said, we can all improve and some of us can reach near perfection. That's all I was asking about. There's nothing wrong; I just wanted to talk about it with Dave. You know as well as I that if we have a bad night, you or I can be grumpy for days."

It was clear to Dave that everything wasn't all right. It was better between these two than most of the couples he saw, because at least the edge of the problem was now verbalized. Openness seemed possible. He suspected no major problem, only that of thousands of couples in the tonal period between a society suppressing all talk and information about intercourse and simultaneously conflicted by excessive media attention to nakedness, the genitalia, and the freedom from pregnancy brought on by new contraceptives. A flip from suppression to complete freedom is too great a change for most people to take quickly. Societies lag for the slowest to catch up. Therein lay many personal and social problems. When you know the rules and the rule makers very well and they disappear, so departs life structure. There is entropy or dissonance. Dave talked to his colleagues about his role being negentropic.

"Yes," said Dave, "If either one of you wants to learn." It was an arrow-straight answer to Meghan.

Burt was still on the edge of the sofa. He knew he had been trapped, as usual, but was not going to sit back. He balanced his saucer and dabbed at his pants -- effective avoidance moves.

"What's this all about? I don't know what's going on. Am I in a therapy session?" He was smiling to take the edge off of his questions. If Meghan and he had not had stronger bonds, and experiences in which each knew the other would never intentionally hurt the other, the situation could have been very bad. Dave could have become the tire iron in a vicious street fight.

"Oh Burt! Let's just find out what Dave's doing."

"Dave, Lori is a wonderful sales-lady for your program. Can we participate in some way without enrolling in a course?"

"Sure, that is fundamental to The Didactron's concept. A "course" is only one way to change behavior. Lectures and group meetings are efficient but often not effective when measures of behavioral change per dollar invested are used. For you and Burt, the group is not the place for you to be. You can't spend the time and you already are advanced. You need to get around all of the unnecessary preliminaries and get to the important topics."

He believed what he said, but he knew that not many of the preliminaries could be skipped. Most of the problems he and his colleagues encountered were like the roots of tree seedlings, unknown to everyone. The major changes, some 10 to 50 percent improvements, could be made in adjustments in the basics and early structures. Only in the latter stages elsewhere and through much work could small improvements be made at great cost. That is why, in part, so few people ever reached even modest levels on the gamma scale.

"Will someone clue me In? What are you talking about?"

Lori said, "I've told Meghan about Dave's work. We visit when she's not working and I explained it to her. It's simple. He's teaching people how to improve their intercourse. His idea is that perfect intercourse is very rare. It is to be highly prized and it can have profound influence on the happiness in a family

"I can understand that," interrupted Burt, the comedian.

"It can have profound influence on personal happiness, the family, the children, and on the broader scale, the entire society." She continued, talking to him but ignoring his comment.

"My guess would be that you and Meghan have gotten better at intercourse over the years … at least compared to the first several events."

Burt and Meghan exchanged glances.

There are a lot of people for which the first events are awful and don't get better. There are some men who could have much greater pleasure with an artificial vagina; some women who have far greater pleasure with a dilldo. Of course there are bored or abused husbands and wives … excessive demands as well as complete withdrawals.

Burt was becoming anxious. Dave sensed the problem at hand. Burt was unaccustomed to talking about intercourse or 'sex' as he and others so strangely lumped so many topics. He probably had never heard a woman use these words. As an engineer, he had never had a biology course, even in high school where, even today, genitalia remain abiologic, hidden behind a mental figleaf. Intercourse is a singular uniform assumption.

"Dave uses examples like carpentry and tries to show the difference you easily see in levels of craftsmanship. I like the comparison in differences among paint-by-the-numbers pictures, dime-store prints, and museum pieces. Intercourse can be like all of them. Dave's trying to provide understanding and the approaches and opportunities for people to lift themselves from the flat, lifelessness of paint-by-the-numbers sexual experience to that of the masters.

"How am I doing, darling?"

"Perfect. Couldn't have said it any better myself."

"I don't have aspirations of becoming a master at intercourse. I only suspect that I…we…can get better at it. It seemed strange at first, but the more I thought about it, why not teach this too? Most things can be taught at least for some improvement -- whether it be making a tool, writing poetry, or thinking about a piece of scripture." Meghan seemed pleased.

"Teaching is one thing, as Dave keeps telling me, but being taught means that some significant change in the learner has to occur, even if in very small amounts in observable or real behavior. If not, no learning has occurred." Lori picked up on 'taught.'

"I liked your insight, Meghan. Tentative success and discovery are part of the picture."

"He really likes to use the word 'heuristic' for 'discovery' but I've discouraged him," chirped Lori.

"The idea is that a solution does not exist. There is no end point. There is excitement in a compelling, searching, continuing pursuit of an equal or next-best condition. In this case it is the condition of the intercourse event. I've sensed that no artist is ever satisfied with his or her last effort. There is a dynamic. The completion of an artistic event leads to the next one. No artist stops even though some feel trapped or limited and may wrestle for years to break an impasse in their work."

Burt, the engineer, wanted the details and the goal. He was genuinely nervous over the prospects of being more revealing that he desired. Overly-quick-to-appear thoughts of wife swapping and group events were beginning to perplex him.

"Burt, you might be able to help me in clarifying the goal of this program. I've stated it as seeking to aid partners in achieving a high-level, near-perfect mutual orgasm within 60 seconds of each other, an event usually judged to be equal or greater than the previous one."

"That's damned personal!"

"So is the other things we teach -- like how to pray and how to brush your teeth. It is very personal, and intimate, and probably one of a long list of reasons why it has been avoided by teachers.

"Here's the essence of the program, Burt. It is totally up to you and Meghan. You'll not bother me one way or the other -- whatever you decide. You can use the whole program or part of it. You need to use the parts in their main sequence. You can stop any time. You do not have to discuss it with me later if there are any qualms about it.

"The program is longer and more involved than most people want or will tolerate -- but that's the reason for the problems. We humans have such a wonderful, pleasurable, totally beautiful experience available to us and throughout society people treat it like trash. The program starts with taking a long written exam about knowledge, attitudes, experience, and current practice. This is the chief means to learn about changes which occur as a result of the program. It also tends to motivate students because many of the words, ideas, and questions are completely unknown. It suggests part of the direction to be taken and when students match question with answer later in the program, a positive psychochemical feedback loop is closed. The exam is part of the teaching function.

"Part of the exam probes psychological dimensions seeking aberrations and abnormalities so great that they condition or limit any possibilities for improvement.

"The tests are automatically graded, a report prepared, and data accumulated to provide a group or class analysis.

"The methods for the above came from computer systems that were originally used to describe and prescribe for ecosystems." Dave viewed the student classes as small ecosystems, the intercourse event a small subsystem.

"How long has it been since you had a physical, anyhow?"asked Dave.

"Over three years for a complete one. He had one last year. Boy, they cost a lot!" said Meghan.

"I know. It is so important. There is no way to engage fully in so physical an act without being physically right. Nothing should be distracting, nothing causing extra worry. No pain should interrupt, no concern about heart or other function should intrude. Any of these - from a simple skin rash to baseless worries, for example about cancer, can seriously impair or detract from the experience.

"As evident as it may seem, the perfect intercourse event begins to be a possibility when both partners bring to that experience beautiful bodies -- those that express their genetic potential for their sex and age. We're not all beauty queens or match well the famous male models. But we once thought the other was beautiful in most ways -- at least sufficiently to say 'I do.' Aging is pretty normal, so the issue is how to come to the event prepared to see and be seen, to enjoy the full body and function of the partner for an extended period."

"This is getting a little too close for comfort. This represents a lot of good food from a neighbor and a lot of weekend beer," said Burt, patting his extra fifteen-pound paunch. Meghan leaned over and patted it too.

"You know as well as I that that 'wonderful thing' is tied to your lack of exercise and eating habits and is likely related to the fat levels in your blood vessels. The reason for going to the doctor and getting advice on proper weight is very personal -- call it selfish --but it is also a little sacrificial because as hard as it may be to accomplish, Meghan would probably find you a tad more appealing without it than with it. You do it for you and for her … and for you both.

"Be sure we get this straight. I'm not prescribing that you lose weight. I'm telling you what we've learned about intercourse that makes sense, and that you can take or leave. To reach the upper levels of the experience, it is essential to be as healthy as possible."

"When Meghan asked, I figured you'd be discussing sexual positions and the ancient secrets. I didn't think about a discussion of health and nutrition but it seems reasonable."

"Meghan, I'm going to give you a small booklet describing intercourse. It can significantly enhance the act. I really would like for you and Burt to read and discuss it together over several evenings.

"I'd be embarrassed," said Meghan.

"That is the key to success. First, you need to admit such embarrassment, then calmly and slowly take steps to overcome it. If you both want to improve, then you can do it gently and kindly and easily -- without ridicule. We are all embarrassed -- a peculiar condition -- because of our own history and socialization. Some of us will find the change easier to make than others.

"If you sit down and read the book to each other and discuss how you feel about each topic of intercourse, that can bring you into the gamma region. That is a scale used to describe your trend toward the perfect event. It's likely that you'll progress.

"Some people, Dave has said, never get through the book" observed Lori to Burt.

"That's ok too," said Dave. "The idea is to provide opportunity to explore and achieve a plateau of excellence that is right, or satisfactory for husband and wife."

"I've read sex books before. I once saw one with over 15 positions," said Burt.

"My guess is that some in this material are among those. These are normal, require no acrobatics, and provide opportunities for both partners readily to achieve orgasm.

"The position is not the key. Its selection should become automatic in the creative ecstasy of each event. Artists do not say "I'll use paint color 3, stroke 16, and brush 2 here on the canvas." They just do it. Like them, partners eventually gain that condition of the mutualists."

"What are mutualists?" asked Meghan.

"People who love each other very much and are trying to assure their partner the highest achievement possible in every intercourse event."

"Every time! That seems like it is asking for a lot. I hate to admit it, but there were several years after I married Burt that I did not have an orgasm." Meghan did not look at Burt.

"That's not unusual. The needs are to put as much of that behind you as possible.

"Orgasms can be had in every event. Men have them with every ejaculation but contrary to popular opinion, they are not all equal in the quality of the experience. Stimulated ejaculations are very pleasant but have little resemblance to the male orgasm of the perfect intercourse event. The same is true for the female partner.

"It is not trickery (although some students claim it to be so) to recommend that either partner meet their personal needs for orgasms independently of intercourse. A male who ejaculates in the first moments of the act should for example, stimulate himself to ejaculate at some time prior to the event. The appropriate hour (or days) can be easily determined. This reduces the drive, pressures, and, in addition, often heightens the pleasure that both people experience because of the time for enjoying the body of the partner as well as the sensory magnitude of the orgasm itself.

"I no longer use the word 'masturbation.' It has such inappropriate roots and connotations of evil that it is no longer a useful word. It clearly is a procedure that may be used in preparation for and as part of intercourse -- by either, or both partners. It is not, by comparison, unlike bathing before the event. It is a means for adjusting for the anatomical and physiological differences between the partners.

"Dave's theory, and mine, is that if husbands (or wives) kept their partners satisfied in intercourse most of the time, then there would not be so much 'cheating,'."

"There are some days I know Burt would like to have intercourse but I'm beat from an awful day at work. We might have planned on being together but during the day everything went wrong. I'm still problem solving and he's thinking about my breasts."

"The reason I only talk about intercourse and not sex or sexual activity is that there is a whole complex system of knowledge and signals and communication within sexual activity. In intercourse there is a flow -- a coursing of ideas and thoughts over several days. The actual physical event that culminates in mutual orgasm is only one part of the intercourse. Because of timing and because events like a 'bad day' can dampen or prevent the intercourse, both partners must be very sensitive to this. In some cases the needful partner, sensing great disinterest by his or her partner, should engage in personal stimulation to orgasm. On the other hand, moderate or slight disinterest may lead to quiet intercourse at the lower gamma level, in which one partner participates not for personal orgasm but because of the pleasure of providing pleasant conditions for the partner. Likewise, at a slightly lower gamma level, one partner may manually stimulate orgasm in the other partner.

"You see there is a gradation of options for the situation in which one partner is not able or willing to participate in seeking perfect intercourse. The gradation is: personal stimulation, manual stimulation by the partner, then to stimulate to orgasm by the partner's penis or vagina."

"That's beautiful," said Meghan. "Thus, intercourse can be very one-person oriented, not aimed at orgasm, but a way in which one member of the partnership can experience great pleasure and emotional release and the other experience no or only moderate pleasure -- that of contributing. This may be the first time I think I see light at the end of this dark tunnel. These events are not bad or wrong or failures because one of us does not experience orgasm. These can be quick, restful, highly pleasant events without feelings of guilt of feelings of failure."

"I'm glad. Very glad. Even the smallest insight can result in great changes in life associated with intercourse."

"I'm getting a feeling that I may see something here, too," said Burt. "It's that there is a big difference between…I don't know how to say it…putting a penis into a vagina…or maybe in this anti-sexist group -- having a vagina enfold a penis --- and having intercourse. It is as if the masturbation can be …"

"Don't say that any more. I think Dave is right. Stimulation toward orgasm is right. The phrase is too long and maybe there is another word, but at least we need to scrap the negative ideas the word implies," Meghan playfully scolded Burt, a little proud of herself.

"As I was saying, before evidently being so rudely interrupted by this sex expert," he joked, " it is as if 'stimulation toward orgasm' is normal, and frequently done, then perfect physical intercourse events are going to be pretty rare. The chances of it happening are so slight that efforts to achieve it only make sense in the very well planned or at least well-prepared-for situations."

"You've got it! The beauty of the concept is that it reduces the failure rate and the frustrations of inadequacy and blame and places attention upon mutual concern, help, service, and fulfillment. It is a paradox, like other aspects of love, in that when life is lived totally for someone else, the richest rewards that are experienced are personal."

The meal dishes were stacked. Lori had left them when she heard Meghan's question. The conversation was lively until after midnight as meaningful conversations among friends usually are. The spirit was willing, but Burt was exhausted after a long day. He and Meghan excused themselves which much genuine thanks. Lori was pleased with the rich pleasure that shone in Meghan's look as they said goodnlght.

They were silent as they quickly went to bed. As they lay quietly after turning out the light, Meghan said in a whisper, "Do you think we can experience perfect physical intercourse?"

"I do. I really do. Dave makes a lot of sense." They slept more soundly than in three years.

* * *

Two weeks passed. Dave and Burt saw each other In the cafeteria several times, but they were with colleagues and did not talk. Twice, just at twilight they arrived home at the same time, commented on yard, firewood and autumn leaves, then carried their briefcases into the house.

"Megan asked us over for spaghetti on Friday night. Ok?"

"Great," said Dave. He liked Burt and Meghan but was very busy designing and finding the means to support his program for improved intercourse. Teaching at his pace and with his intimacy and involvement was more demanding that anyone realized. After a lecture, he was usually wringing wet; each was a major performance. He had little energy for the friendships he saw and admired in so many others. The costs were very high; he just could not afford it. Lori only partially understood, but seemed tolerant. The evening off was needed; he was glad Meghan had invited them over.

The meal was half over before the topic of intercourse again arose. It was as if everyone expected to talk about it and that everyone was nervous about it and did not know how to get started.

Burt, the quiet one, surprised everyone in saying, "The amazing thing about our last meal together and conversations is that it was one of the few, long conversations we've had with anyone in over three years. Most conversations are short, usually end up in quaint arguments, and lead nowhere. They are like practicing tennis to see how many times you can get the ball across the net without interruption. I felt like it was going somewhere for a change."

"Where do you think it was going?" Dave grimaced for he had unconsciously assumed a counselor's role. Here he was not a counselor, even though he had been asked questions about intercourse. "I'm sorry. I really should not have said that. It is a standard psychologist's technique and I'm not a counselor here. I'm a spaghetti-eater and a fire-place enjoyer, and a wife admirer and a Friday-Tired son-of-a-gun."

"Seemed like a fair question to me," said Burt, accepting Dave's evidently sincere apology. It could have dampened the entire evening.

"We were learning; that's where it was going. We were seeing new stuff."

"Burt mentioned several times during the week the significance of good alternative ways to sexual fulfillment and the separation, but not isolation, of efforts to achieve the perfect event and other activities leading to orgasm. It's as if there is intercourse and then all of the rest."

"Did you read my paper on intercourse?"

"Sure we did," laughed Meghan nervously.

Burt said, "I had not realized the major sexual positions."

"The interesting thing," interrupted Dave, "is that, given the variety and permutations possible, a unique event for every day of a long life, thousands of people do not engage at all! And others repeat exactly the same event every time!

Meghan said, "Talking about the booklet seemed to help. Weights of importance that we assigned to the topics in your Internet unit showed us both that we didn't know each other."

"This is a very important insight. You can see how intelligent, communicating people can live together for years without ever discussing or realizing some things because they seem off-limits for discussion.

"Take your example. Suppose the husband assigns one variation of an act a score of 100 and the wife assigns it 20, the simple sum is 120 satisfaction units. (Of course there may be more because of the interaction, but this is an example.) If there is another position in which each partner experiences satisfaction of as low as 70 or 80, then the satisfactions are 140 to 160 (and probably more) and this score is considerably above that of the previous position. The aim is assuring the greatest possible mutual satisfaction."

"Enough of the numbers, gentlemen," said Lori. "Tell them more about your program Dave. As you've said to me lots of times, there is much too much emphasis placed on the positions for intercourse."

"After the pre-test, then comes the health work."

"I've lost four pounds," interrupted Burt, like a kid bringing home a good report card.

Dave smiled at him and continued. "Then comes the work on clothing and appearance. A person who is unkempt or looks like a garden slug all day is not likely to be transformed by entry into the bedroom into some god or goddess of beauty -- even by the most imaginative or forgiving partner. I've already mentioned that the fit of clothing can influence health. The style can influence the event because if one partner 'just hates 'those shirts' then this is something in the way. If there are such barriers, then the two are always living under the condition I call 'mutualists, but…', and that is enough to prevent achieving perfect intercourse. The message here is easy to miss. Neither partner makes the other over into what they want. They simply communicate their preferences openly and when some threshold of tolerance is reached like '…those ugly shirts!' then the offenders are removed … because it is in the best interests of both to do. Usually the offending things are trivial habits or clothes or oversights. Usually they can be avoided (like only wearing the ugly shirts on hunting trips with the boys).

"There is little that can be done to improve the anatomy of a person. That anatomy is what was married. Healthful living can preserve a good bit of it. Realizing that the aging process is mutual goes a long way to prevent criticisms about how the partner is 'sagging.' While the anatomy cannot be improved, there is an amazing amount that can be done with the appearance. When two people, evidently a rag-picker and a beer drinker's commercial model, engage in various stimulations of the sex organs, it is no wonder that the consequences are judged poor, even unpleasant.

"Grooming, simple attention to clothing, simple attention to cleanliness and even minimal make-up is part of the larger encompassing process of intercourse. 'I am ugly and don't care, and now let's go to bed, and now you pretend that I'm beautiful and caring' is a condition few will find logical, but many will have seen examples of it being tried and failing.

"My guess is that you know your anatomy well, but I'll send over a disc to you in the campus mail. You both can study it and get your learning curve inflated. There is an amazing ignorance of the organs. In addition, most people are ignorant of the enervation of their partners. Since these patterns differ slightly among individuals, I recommend that you both very calmly and scientifically explore the nerve endings, patterns, and sensitive areas of your partner. It may take years to learn this by exploration, guessing and generalizing. There is no reason why it should not be explored openly as part of learning all aspects of the partner to assure maximum satisfaction."

"I've received some criticism about one part of the disc that points out the relative location of these sensitive and readily stimulated parts of the anatomy. This is done on consenting, paid adult models, male and female. I have this disc primarily for unmarried students and for married couples that have extreme, unreconcilable modesty. I do not yet know how to evaluate the criticism. Perhaps it is too 'explicit,' but what needs to be more explicit than anatomy and the relations of nerves to surface areas of the body? Perhaps you'll give me your reactions to this problem which just might increase if the students or their parents start some sort of ban-the-medium campaign."

"Based on the reactions of my students in The Didactron, I think you should schedule the use of my discs on human genitalia. It seems to have a profound effect both on men and women for quite different and not well understood reasons. Some studies suggest that of the aberrations associated with pornography of all types is rooted in deep seated, basic curiosity. Children that grow up in families that enjoy or ignore nudity have very different behaviors and drives than those that grow up in extremely modest families. There can arise a condition in which sharing a view of and viewing the partner's body is a full genuine, robust satisfaction. When viewing the body is a novelty, or considered a special 'treat' rather than a rich part of the long gradual, total intercourse of words, sight, odor, taste, sound, memory, and expectation, then it is likely to lead to diminished experience."

"Why did you emphasize long, gradual intercourse?" asked Meghan.

"Several reasons. A healthy young male can usually gain an erection rapidly and can manually stimulate ejaculation in about 60 seconds. This may be done four or five times in a day but not over a prolonged period without damage. The point is that ejaculation for the normal male is no big trick. Rapid ejaculation is the order of the day, very animal like, and of natural design to assure reproduction of the species. Since the egg is only present and healthy for a short and generally uncertain period, it makes population survival-sense to have multiple contacts of the egg with many sperm over the ovulation period to assure reproduction. For the mutualists, the objectives are social and cultural -- no longer cave-dweller -- for the female to experience orgasm within some reasonable period of -- say two hours or less and for the male to prolong erection without undue testicular pain and to delay ejaculation. It is a difficult and complicated feat, one deserving study and attention, not just as a technique to be mastered -- and perhaps that may be satisfying itself … but also because of the jointly-shared pleasure of each step taken toward perfect intercourse."

"The process may take several days."

"Several days!" jokingly exclaimed Burt.

"Not the entire time, silly," chided Lori.

"The wife, knowing that long periods between events makes her husband very likely to ejaculate quickly regardless of his mental control over the act, may engage him several days prior to the planned event."

"What's this 'engage'?" queried Burt.

"I didn't mean anything special, just activity at the lower reaches of the gamma scale. These include self-stimulation by the husband to ejaculation in the presence of the semi- or totally-nude wife. The presence and beauty adds to the event carrying it into the mutualism range, well out of the self-stimulation category. Beyond this there may be wife-assisted ejaculation. In a few couples, oral stimulation of the penis up to ejaculation, then manual assistance is pleasant for both partners but this practice has many perversions and it is essential it be viewed only within the mutualism range. It is most normally a part of the latter stages toward perfect intercourse when in addition to pleasure for both partners, it reduces any discomfort of the union."

"Burt's, Meghan's, and Lori's attention was intense. Dave remained very matter-of-fact, not lecturing -- enjoying the chance to talk in a friendly group about the things he knew well. He didn't enjoy most conversations, for they were patches of ideas called 'opinions' and he held that opinions are formed by study, thought, and effort. Most people have some ideas, few opinions. This definition had loomed like a dark cloud over his social life. It rained unspoken questions and comments throughout most conversations: "That is blatantly nonfactual!", "Where could she possibly have gotten the facts to arrive at that conclusion?", "How can he be so arrogant?", "Is there no room for a question; why always the assertion?", and "The problem was just noticed; how could she have already formed an opinion?"

"There are a lot of things to think about all in a short time," observed Lori.

"It is very complicated, not very complex," said Burt, "and that is probably good or we would never have made it as a species. I've heard of fish species that have a complex series of steps through which they must go. It is a wonder they have survived. One of my projects deals with a substance that changes the physiology of these fish so that the male cannot change to the proper color in the sequence. Because of this, the substance can destroy the entire breeding cycle. The stuff doesn't kill any fish…it just prevents thousands from being born."

"Fish aren't born," snipped Meghan.

Dave noticed and wondered why the correction was needed.

"Oh, you know what I mean -- hatched or produced or whatever."

"There are similar stages or cycles in humans but they aren't so evident. Some animals are said to 'come into heat,' an awful expression for the estrus or period when the female will allow a male to advance and deposit semen. There are many events leading to this including displays, ritual fights, and prolonged chases as well as what can only be viewed as the equivalent of human petting or foreplay. It is silly to imagine anything biologically or socially normal about a very quick male-female encounter resulting only in male ejaculation. It happens often and has caused massive personal and social problems. I'm optimistic that the program at The Didactron can be influential in changing this widespread abnormal behavior."

"Do men have cycles of sexual desire" asked Meghan.

"They are slight, if any. It would be reasonable in short-lived animals with precocious young and a 9-month gestation period for them to breed in October about the time when there is abundant energy for multiple ovulation. Then they would give birth when there are are summer foods available to support the lactating mothers. There was such great demand placed on the natural primitive parents for supporting the child for at least a year that it seems unlikely there are any distinct male periods. Increased temperatures seems to heighten libido, probably due to increased release of hormone."

"I'm ready all the time," said Burt.

"I think that is the case," said Dave, ignoring his joke, "and the system being proposed is one that recognizes that as well as the woman's cycles, all of them, including menstrual, pre- and post-birth changes, monthly changes in estrus, and changes with age."

"Damn, It is complicated." Burt ruffled his hair In frustration.

"If we could get more people to realize that, many things could improve. Trying to fit regular behavior into an irregular pattern leads to frustrations.

"I've been reluctant to face it, but I now suspect there are many people for whom the complexity and subtly are too great. Some of what we have discussed is a little abstract; some has required more knowledge than everyone needs in order to experience great pleasure in the male-female embrace. Some people have reached an impasse -- a kind of tolerance for what must be -- and cannot or will not change. Because of this I have designed a computer system and it's now on the Internet. It produces a complete written prescription for a couple. It includes all of the 10 major steps toward perfect intercourse. It is a personalized expert-system results that is issued every two weeks. It randomly selects the preliminary actions, locations, positions, and after-events. Admittedly limited, my contention is that this represents a good practice and can provide many people great life satisfactions. By offering the system, I refuse to accept any group as incompetent or to leave all of my efforts toward perfect intercourse totally in the hands of and a function of the creative powers of each couple. Some will find the idea disgustingly simplistic, mindless. By analogy, artists denigrate paint-by-the-numbers options but many people get great pleasure from such kits and some learn some of the technical aspects of painting and then advance well beyond that. I'm expecting such advances in many couples."

"Could you do that for us?" asked Meghan.

"Certainly, but I suspect you are the people for whom it was not designed …the thoughtful, intelligent, and creative."

"My how you do go on," said Lori in her best southern drawl.

"It still might be interesting," said Burt, huskily, like he had just stolen a glance in a girlie magazine at the newsstand.

"There's so much involved here. Before I worked at The Didactron, I used to struggle with my role as a lecturer. Most of the students wanted me to tell them exactly what was what. They seemed to want a recipe that they could use. They want something that says: If A then go to C, if D then go to G, if C and G then the person is of type X and needs treatment Q." They were technicians. They were paint-by-the-numbers psychologists! I hated them because the recipes are changing and they will be bad practitioners tomorrow. They were insensitive; worst yet, they could not create the recipe or the new knowledge or even ask the good question that prompts the creative response.

"I despair when I think that what I'm doing may be creating a nation of bedroom technicians. I dreamed two nights ago about a wife getting up from the floor where she and her husband had frolicked for almost a half-hour to go check the next instruction on the list! Oh God!"

"But you could be helping thousands trapped by the perceived pleasures of the first several events. There are surely thousands who say "if it ain't bad, no need to make it good."

"I like that, Meghan," said Lori. "That's deep."

They smiled but didn't laugh.

Burt said, "On the floor. You dreamed of someone doing it on the floor? Was that a sex dream or a work dream? You're in a weird business."

"It was, strangely, only business. I had been preparing a lecture on locations for perfect intercourse and my mind had kept working on the topic."

"The floor sounds peculiar," said Meghan, revealing more about their conventional life than she had intended.

"I'm embarrassed to say it, but I've always wanted to do it in a lake at night," said Meghan.

"I didn't know that," said Burt with a plaintive note.

"It's just a fantasy. I read about it or saw it on some show."

"You ought to try to do it there. These notions are useful. They are best not relegated to 'fantasy' because there they cannot be addressed creatively or actively. You ought to try. This particular location is very difficult and is much better in a movie set than in life. Finding a private spot on a lake is getting more difficult. The water must be warm. The insects must be scarce, and the footing is rarely secure. Standing intercourse is one of the most difficult to perfect."

"Oh, you've ruined it for me."

"I'm sorry…but not very," Dave laughed. "If more people would tell their partners what they would like to do, if ridicule never suppressed such openness, and if fantasy was changed to creative expression and action, then major improvements might occur. Fantasy, almost by definition (I haven't looked it up) is an escape from the present. Perfect intercourse includes total, consuming, open, mutual engagement in the present prolonged event. Neither partner can realistically afford to be "somewhere else"…unless it is the only effective technique the couple can discover to delay or speed orgasm so that they may achieve it nearly together."

Lori brought in coffee and pie. They busied themselves with the mechanics -- cups, saucers, de-caffinated, fresh brewed, spoons, sugar, cream, napkins, plates, a place to put things, and finally a pitcher. It was a good diversion. It was getting late but all drank coffee without the trite comments about it keeping them up. All were so tired from the week's work that nothing but conversation could keep them awake.

Obviously reflecting as he stirred his coffee, Dave said, "The lake fantasy illustrates one of the major problems of couples -- that of getting away or achieving privacy. The problem is both to avoid being disturbed or interrupted and, equally, to avoid disturbing others. This is especially true with children. It is true in the thin-walled apartments. Throughout the U.S. there is, overall, a very undesirable environment in which to try to achieve one of life's greatest pleasures. In some cases, perfect intercourse can only be experienced away from home because the conditions at home always prevent it. It is not a bad idea to go to a motel once every several months just to achieve the right environment. I feel very sorry for these people who cannot afford or are otherwise trapped by conditions such that they may never achieve high-level intercourse. It is as if there are always family and neighbors in bed with them."

"It was years before I got my mother out of bed with me and Dave," Lori was not being funny now. "Everything she told me about the act, the attitudes of men, the fear of pregnancy, the Old Testament religiosity -- they were right there beside me, sometimes between us, for years."

"We've made a lot of progress together," said Dave.

"I assumed you had perfect intercourse every time," said Burt. He was not laughing either.

"Of course not. This is a search. As you've seen, the odds against success are very great. We seem to be improving in our relationships." He nodded, sensing in the subtle nods and looks that he was speaking for Lori as well. Few teachers can practice fully what they preach. The Biblical: "the good that I would, I do not…" is very much a part of our lives, and I believe a part of the lives of others."

"I used to cut down Lori in conversations. I don't know why exactly. I thought it made me more important or appear that I was quicker or bigger or more important. Perhaps 'dominant' would be a word animal behaviorists would use. We've come to understand that the better the partner appears, the better we each appear. Rarely is a correction in a conversation worth the words spent on it. Rarely does It make any difference; no contracts are being formed, no papers sent to reviewers." Dave couldn't tell whether Meghan understood. "The results, I think I'm safe in saying, are that we both feel better about each other, we risk saying a little more, and we have no mending to do after an evening is over. We used to spend time resolving our differences rather than recounting or sharing the pleasantries of evenings out."

"The biggest change occurred after Dave got a vasectomy. The doctor said I should not have children because of my heart and some unusual organ structure. I was always aware of this danger in every intercourse event. It was a silent participant; I could not forget it. Even though I used the pill, there remained the chance of pregnancy resulting. We kept this up for over two years, then Dave got a vasectomy. It eliminated the fear problem altogether."

"Effective modern contraception has to be one of the major contributions to the ability of people to achieve perfect intercourse. Otherwise, the only likely time for it to occur is after pregnancy or during intercourse in which pregnancy is planned -- when the objectives are procreation as well as all of the mutualism we've discussed. It has to be beautiful when mutualists extend the full meaning of that concept to their children. The creation of a mutualist family.

"Skillful use of contraceptives acceptable to both partners is critical to the successful event. Work on male contraceptives is progressing but, for now, the pill or patch is safest with chances of failure about 24 in 1000; the condom is next with chances, still high in my opinion, of 224 in 1000. The diaphragm is not much better than the so-called rhythm method which has chances of about 300 in 1000 acts of intercourse resulting in pregnancy. These chances are all sufficiently high to make them invade the privacy of intercourse. It is almost physical, as real as a person watching the action.

"I'm fairly opinionated. I think that in the average U.S. family, after one or two healthy children have reached an age of 3 or 4, the husband should have a vasectomy. This is based on a world of reasons including economics, world population pressures, resource consumption, the odds of meeting educational demands, and in general so that the full resources of the family can be devoted to helping these children and the parents collectively achieve their potentials.

"One of our video units will be a demonstration of the proper use of the contraceptives. A person may look at all of them or may select only the one about which he or she needs information. Most failures of the methods available are related to use, not the method itself.

"I have just contracted with a TV studio and participants for filming these demonstrations.

"I'm not sure if I can complete the video work," said Dave. "There are so many obstacles ahead."

"I admit I'm nervous about the future consequences. This may be an educational technology we should not use even though we can do it."

"It seems these issues arise every few days in The Didactron," observed Burt.

"Look how late it is," said Meghan. She hustled the dishes out to the kitchen, swung through the bedroom to get coats, and the evening was over in a jiffy. Everyone was clearly pleased. Someone in saying goodnight characterized it as 'rich.'

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Last revision March, 2008.